52 Weeks

So, I have had this blog brewing in my soul for a couple of months now. Actually a series of blogs. Ideas, thoughts, wanting to be written. The problem is time. Time to sit and think. To be quiet. More so, the lack of it. It seems that as quickly as a thought occurs to me an interruption steals it away. I promise myself each time that I will save it away till later but then a new thought comes and the last one gets pushed deeper and gets lost in my brain. Well, it's quiet and I'm still awake. I'm all filled up with thoughts and feelings and they need to come out so here goes....

A year. Fifty-two Sundays. I am so thankful and amazed that God would give us fifty-two Sundays to so clearly and profoundly experience His incredible Grace, Mercy, and Love. You know, they say that if your heart is broken and you're in a funk you should go do something nice for someone else. My heart was broken when we left our NC family but God took my heart and steered it toward those that He loves so much in downtown Omaha. What a gift! See, He showed us a way to love others and, in His Wisdom, He has shown us how much He loves us.

My heart is so overwhelmed. In a year's time, God has transformed a meal served into a meal shared with friends and family. And, it's not just the soup and the bread. I have wondered lately just how mutual our friendship was with those we see each Sunday. I mean, I know they appreciate the hot, home-cooked meal, and the clothing, and the hygiene items. I know they know we care about them and want to help. I know they look forward to us coming each week as much as we look forward to going. But, is the relationship simply between those who serve and those who are served? I want to think no but haven't been sure.

God answered me in a huge way this week and not just once. I think He wanted me to get this message loud and clear. Here's how He answered the questions in my heart:

• I received a call Wednesday from Katie at Mosaic Community Development Center. It was about Doug. It was bad news. She called me because Tom, a friend of Doug's and ours who lives by the river, stopped in to tell her to call us. He knew we would want to know.
• Keith called us last night to remind us to bring a shovel for the snow and a wrench for the propane tank (we forgot it last time.) He joked with Christian when he answered the phone, asking if he had reached the Laney Academy for Gifted Children. Christian, of course, said, "Yes," and then figured out it was Keith and laughed. Keith used the shovel we brought today and did a fine job. We're in this thing together.
  
• I mentioned to John in line today that it had been a rough week. He went on to get his soup but made a point ask me later why my week was tough. I shared with him that losing Uncle Cy and Doug this week on top of the tragedy at the mall last week and the busyness of the season had me in a bit of a whirl. He offered understanding and advice. It was good advice. This next week will be a week of chilling out. No school, no appointments. Cookie baking, relaxing, some shopping, wrapping gifts, reflection. I hope it will be a fun week for our family as we enjoy the Season and exhale.
• Mark brought some coloring books, crayons and a cute stuffed animal to Erin today. JoAnn brought her some candy. She also wanted Dave's and my picture on her cell phone (she actually took one last week but didn't save it right - Do-over!)
  

Mutual care. Friendship. Unconditional love.

I spent the better part of a year pining for my friends in Charlotte. I still miss them terribly but God has been at work filling in the holes. He has given us amazing friends here who share our heart and our faith. He has allowed us to jump in to His mission and, in doing so, He has given us friends in downtown Omaha that we never would have had. Our life is more rich. For the first time, today, I heard a song that we had sung in worship at UCF and instead of being instantly 'transported' back to a Sunday morning in Charlotte, I thought of our friends downtown. Romans 8:28.

He has taught me so much in this past year. I have so much more to learn. Nick asked us if we were going to keep going downtown until God tells us to stop. We said yes.

I hope it never stops.

Encounters

I haven't blogged about downtown in a while and some stuff was rolling around in my head as I'm doing some late night cookie baking. :) So here goes!

You know, when we first started going downtown to have lunch with our 'Sunday Friends' (a term coined by one of the incredible families who helps us), it was all about getting our feet wet.

We have never experienced homelessness (except in a spiritual way.)

We had never known hunger (except in a spiritual way.)

We had never been truly lonely (except in a spiritual way.)

Bottom line.....we couldn't identify with the people we were meeting ....except in a spiritual way.

So, while God was preparing hearts and minds (ours and theirs) for His work to be done, we provided what we could. A hand shake, a hug, a hot meal, warm clothes. They got to know us and came to trust that we would be there every week. I remember in the beginning them telling us of the discussions on the corner each Sunday, especially when the weather was bad. One guy would let us know that there were doubters in the crowd and he had set them straight. We would be there!

After eleven months, there is no question we will be there. And there is something new. There is an identification that the guys have between us and God. It's always created a chuckle when someone refers to Dave as Pastor Dave or, better yet, Preacher Dave (as he was referred to this past week.) The amazing thing about that is that Dave doesn't preach. They seem to know what we believe and who we follow simply by our actions and the few words that pass between us on Sundays. God is working in such a powerful way in the minds and hearts of each one of us.

I didn't get to go downtown this past Sunday and I hated it. I had some emotional drainage going on and felt tapped out. A few of the guys used Dave's cell phone and called me to say they missed me! I bawled like a baby! Someone once said to me that we should never be fooled into thinking that we would be accepted as friends in the homeless community. I wish that gentleman could have felt what I felt that day. That meant the world to me.

So, since I couldn't go down Sunday, I couldn't wait until Tuesday. We go to a small group (well, kinda - 25+ people the past couple of weeks) downtown and they send a van to pick people up at the Francis House Shelter. Dave and I got there late so we hopped in the car and went down to meet them there. I can't tell you how cool it is to go to a place that used to be scary and foreign to us and get out of the car and be greeted by those we know.

We saw Menelik right away. Dave has written of him before but for those of you not familiar with his story he is an Ethiopian who fought with his family in Sudan. His Dad was killed in front of him. He doesn't know where the rest of his family is or even if they are alive. He has two kids here and lives at the shelter. He struggles with alcohol. He approached us to tell us about how he was reading about Paul and wanting to have the ability, like Paul, to have joy even in his miserable circumstances. He was particularly down and I got the chance to pray with him. He responds so completely to prayer. It's a cool transformation. It was good to leave him better than we found him. God is good.

As we were driving away a girl ran to our car. She asked us to pray for her and her daughter. She said her name was Tennessee and her daughter's name was Savannah. Yes, she spoke with a southern accent. She said she was trying to get off drugs and it was so hard. I asked her if we could pray for her right there and she pulled away and said, "No, I've never done anything like this before but I just felt like I should ask you guys to pray for me." Now, keep in mind that we have never met Tennessee. How did she even know that we were 'the prayin' type'? Cool stuff we can't comprehend or explain. God.

I went to a community breakfast at the Francis House this morning. Juan, one of our friends, invited me to come. What an emotional time. A few sobriety birthdays. Five graduations from the drug/alcohol recovery program. Lots of tears and lots of encouragement. Lives changed by God one step at a time. Struggles, victories, failures, fear, joy, accomplishment, pride, and love all rolled up into a big soppy tearful ball!

Juan was working on Step 5 where you admit your shortcomings to another person. He shared his with me and it made me grateful for his trust and his friendship and that God would let me be a part of his recovery.

It's been a good week. I have struggled in some other areas of my life and, at times, have been nearly incapacitated by them. The bright spots have been in the work God has given us to do downtown. Love, encouragement, and reassurance has come from so many places this week. Some from sort of expected places and some from unexpected places. All of it, ultimately, from God through the people He has placed in my life.

I am going to bed thankful tonight that God is opening doors to connect in a spiritual way with people we couldn't otherwise identify with.

The Bandana

We were driving, on Friday, to Heart Ministries as we do each week. As we were traveling down 24th Street Erin yelled out, "Hey! There's one of our guys!" It was Doug Etter on a bench in front of the McDonald's. We honked and waved but were in traffic and couldn't stop. He didn't see us but seeing him did remind me that he asked for a bandanna last Sunday. Now, there were bandannas provided last week but Doug had already gone when they were realized and given out. So I made a mental note and kept on my path to gather stuff.

So we get to Heart and get all the things on our list, go into the clothing closet to get men's clothes and I see a box with men's hats in it. Now, I have already forgotten about Doug's bandanna by now. Shame on me! But as I lift up the hats what is there but a black bandanna! So I grab it and it is kind of clinging to the women's scarf-y thing and I start to put it back. It was kind of stuck to it. After a split-second reconsideration, I decide to separate it from the scarf and take it to Doug. When we left Heart we drove back up to McD's to see if Doug was still around. He wasn't so we decided to drive down Cuming St. to see if he was near the shelter. Down to 16th Street but no Doug. So, not being able to let it go for some reason I drive down in front of the library to see if he's in the park. No Doug. By this time I am getting tired and decide to wait till Sunday. We drive down 14th past Farnam St. to go around the block back to the interstate.

Christian immediately starts begging to go to the library. No, I say. I'm tired. I've been gone all day and I only have 50 cents for the meter. He says that's plenty for him to run in and get books. I know better because Juan and Keith are in there and they like to chat! I'm seeing parking ticket, you know what I mean?? So I say no as we head east. As we turn to go back North I'm still saying no but my resolve is weakening – he wears me down and I give in. We turn West on Farnam to go over to the library and we see Frank limping horribly up the sidewalk. Miraculously, there are no cars parked on that entire block so we whip in and call Frank over. He can barely walk and he asks us to take him to the hospital as he thinks he must have broken his leg.

We say sure and load him in the car. After we dropped Frank and Christian off at Emergency and parked our car we were walking into the hospital and Nick pipes up, "You know how amazing God is mom??" I say yes and he says so excitedly and with wonder, "God set up our meeting with Frank on the street that day because Frank needed help." See, God used a bandanna and my weak resolve with my child to get us to Frank. Amazing! All we have to do is keep our eyes open to realize the miracles He works every day! See, this bacterial infection in his leg (celulitis), left much longer, could have killed Frank. Nick told Frank that God set that up and Frank teared up a little and said, "No one would help me, Robin." God knew Frank needed help and he led us there to give us the opportunity to do so. When no one else would help Frank, God helped Frank. I am grateful for His persistence! Frank is grateful for another day. I am hopeful for Frank. I might give Frank the bandanna. :)

Keep your eyes, ears, and hearts open this week! He's working!

Is love enough?

I saw some friends of ours downtown today. It's always so bittersweet because, while we usually have a good laugh or two (or at least a smile), it leaves me sad and wanting to do more.

A friend of ours who we met back in November and who now lives in Des Moines, Al, said to me one time that I can't save anyone but I can love them. I do love them but it doesn't seem to change their circumstances and that makes me sad.

I know I can't save anyone. I know circumstances aren't what matters most, faith in God is. I know that loving someone can show Christ's love in a way that changes hearts. But dang-it!!! I don't know if I can love people enough to overshadow their hopelessness.

You know, if we are hungry, we grab a bite to eat.

If we are tired, we lay in our soft warm beds in a quiet room.

If we are sick, we go to the doctor and get the care and meds we need.

If we need a clean shirt, we grab one out of the closet. If all our clothes are dirty in a pile, we wash them. If our clothes are not the right size we buy new ones.

If it rains/snows/sleets/hails or if our allergies are getting us, we go indoors.

If we get discouraged, we seek out encouragement from those around us.

If we get lonely we call a friend.

I saw a friend, John, today who was shaking uncontrollably and sick to his stomach because he was 'saving' his Friday night drinks for later. His shirt was dirty. He is alone most times I see him. He was kicked out of his 'home' under the bridge a few weeks back and now sleeps behind buildings until someone notices him. He covers up with the same quilt he got from us last winter. He just got barred for life from a five city block area owned by a local bank. He says it will be okay as long as he doesn't let the second-shift security guard see him. His addiction, paired with his mental state, is going to kill him. He's skinnier each time I see him. My heart breaks for him.

And, there's nothing I can do but pray for him, bring lunch for him, chat with him, and watch him die.

Love is not enough.

My Insides are boiled!

So, here we are having a great time in the park with all our friends yesterday. Great weather, good food, laughter, relaxed.....and then this guy comes walking up with fancy sunglasses and a travel mug.

He asks what church we are from, introduces himself as "blah blah" from a big, west-end church and asks me why we are feeding people in the park. So I tell him, thinking maybe he would like to help out.

He proceeds to tell me that he recently moved downtown from the suburbs 'out west'. So, I'm thinking that he's going to say he has a heart for this community and he moved to be closer. Nope, wrong on both counts. He spouts that he lived down here and that he is sick of 'these people' urinating, defacating, and vomiting in HIS neighborhood. He doesn't want his kids to have to see that! WHAT????? I was hopping mad already but I tried to express to him that we were just trying to help, maybe make a small difference, give a good meal, meet some people, you know.

He asked me if we have parks where we live. I said yes, wondering where this was going. He asked if we have 'people like these' in our parks. I said not usually. He said then we should get busses, round em up and feed them in our parks! By this time I am so mad my insides were shaking!

Now, keep in mind, this guy has already indicated that he is a churchgoer. So I told him that I think his pastor would be ashamed that he was representin' his church (in a nice way, of course. :) ) He then went on to tell me that I was wrong in assuming that he did nothing for Jesus. He, after all, knows several pimps and their ladies on Park Avenue and he invites them to church all the time. So, I said, how's that workin' for ya? He said he tried to pick up a couple just this morning and they declined. And, anyways, the people at church 'scoff' at them. Hmmmm...

So, then he moves on to another subject and asks me where we go to church. I told him that this is our church. Then he lays into me about how we all need to be under a 'five-fold ministry'. WHAT? I wanted to ask him how that was workin' for him but that was such an obvious answer, I didn't ask.

I told him that his attitude was not very loving and I didn't appreciate him talking about our friends like this and I thought he should leave. He said, "Well, that's a really loving response."

I directed him to Dave and he told him that I was mad at him and had asked him to leave. No details.

So.....I don't know if I said what I should have said. Hindsight is always 20/20. Don't know if the Spirit was leading or I was. I sure hope He was cause I was so worked up it's hard to tell. I didn't berate him or curse him, although I wanted to. I tried to stay composed. Heck, I'm all worked up just writing about it.

So, here's the silver lining....A friend was standing nearby. He asked what was going on and I told him in a nutshell. His first reaction was, "Hypocrite." Now, I don't know exactly what he believes about God. I know he reads a lot and I think he talked to my brother one time about the big bang. But that's the extent of it. So, he continues to say he's always had a problem with organized religion. You know, the crusades, the inquisition.... And, he says, "why do they always feel like they have to dress up? God doesn't care what you wear!" That started a conversation about God knowing each of our hearts and that that is what matters.

This guy's ignorance and lack of compassion opened up a conversation about God with someone. Go God!

In every one of satan's attempts to drag us down, to destroy what we know to be true, to discourage us, God has victory!

I prayed for the guy who interrupted our day. I pray that his journey leads him to discover a new way of living out his faith, a new compassion and a new heart for all people, not just the ones who are like him. I thank God for making good with it all. And I pray for my friend, today, that our conversation yesterday will lead to more conversations about God.

Overall, it was a great day. Lots of good stuff.

Didya ever feel like....

God was watching you??

Not like the, "Whatya' doin' now!?" kind of watching but the, "I got your back" kind of watching. That feeling like you are the little baby bear facing the great big mean lion and the lion is backing down cause you got the big papa bear behind you? Okay, so weird thoughts go through my head! But anyways...I feel like that today and, actually, lots of days lately.

I went to find some boot inserts for one of our guys. He is in a wheelchair and his feet swell so he can't wear regular shoes. He thought boot inserts would open up enough to keep his feet warm but still fit. Right now he wears layers and layers of socks which is not enough in our climate. A couple of the people who serve on Sundays will testify that even with wool socks and those '-degree temp boots' their feet still get cold!

Anyways, we found them online at Cabela's and there happens to be a brand new one not far from us. So I went in and asked and they said it was an internet-only item and that, even at that, they are out of stock and wouldn't be available till next Fall. I was crushed. I told the salesman what they were for and asked him to help me find the warmest socks available and I would search some more on the internet when I got home. He found me some $14 socks (AHHH!) and suggested slippers. Now, in my head, I'm thinking, "hmmmm, slippers from Cabela's, very pricey." So he shows me these $40 really great slippers with high ankles. I'm thinking Dave is going to shoot me if I spend this much!

So this other guy walks out of the back and says he is packing those slippers up 'right now' to go to Wash. D.C. for the winter! Jeff goes back and finds a couple of pairs sizes 14 and 15! That, in itself, is amazing. But you would only know that if you had really big feet! So, I decided to take them and Jeff talks to his manager to get some help with the price. He comes back to tell me he wishes he could give them to me for free, but he can't. His manager, however, can give me a really deep discount and.....Jeff pulls a $20 bill out of his wallet!!!! I go to the counter to pay not knowing the discount amount but knowing I have $20 towards the price. The manager charges me $19.95 for the slippers and $7.98 for the socks! Eight dollars for a size 14 pair of the warmest slippers and socks I have ever seen! God did that for Robert!

Now, think about this for a minute. God set all that up! The timing. The people involved. The availability of a special size. He is so incredibly amazing! Divine appointments.

I have to tell you that we, in the last few months, have spent lots of time shopping and collecting items for individuals downtown. And, we had grown weary. We have had discussions about whether it was the best use of our time and resources to shop for individuals. Here's what I think, for what it's worth.

Our main focus has been to care for people. Whether it be physical needs being met, spiritual needs being helped, or just friendship. I think that, in the last four months, God has really shown Himself most through the meeting the of physical needs of our friends downtown. He has provided specific items when we have needed them most. He has provided cash for the expenses that were too big for us to handle in addition to all the other stuff. He has put other organizations in our path that are helping us every week to keep up with some of the needs.

There is no doubt, when you look at the humongosity (is that a word? It should be!) of what He has provided that He is in charge and is driving this thing. There is no room for us to doubt His presence and His provision. There is no way we can take credit for any of it. He is driving the boat and all the glory goes to Him and Him alone.

I love that we are part of what God is doing! I love the guys and gals we spend Sunday afternoons with! I love to watch God work!

Step back and watch God work in your life this week.

p.s. I wonder if the Jeffs at Cabela's realize that they were instruments of God today....I think I will write them and let them know. :D

Filled up and Overflowing!

Have you ever been involved in something where there are so many cool things going on that you can't focus enough to sit down and write about just one? That's where I am. Speechless! Can you imagine? me? speechless?

A few people have asked me to blog about our experiences downtown each week and I find myself being able to talk about them at length but writing them all down is overwhelming. Dave has been so good at focusing on individual stories and I share in those and love what God is doing.

I guess, maybe my experiences can't be conveyed with words. The joy is all in being down there with the people, and is impossible for me to put into words. Maybe that's why I don't even attempt. Any words I have would not do what I feel justice. The big successes are amazing and something to watch, don't get me wrong. But it's the laughter, the joy on people's faces, the hugs and handshakes, the break from the harsh realities of life that touch my heart so deeply. It's the fact that these guys who barely know us want to come and chat with us. Sure, we bring food and clothing, but there is plenty of food available to them if they want that. They are all clothed and what we get them, many times, is a bonus. And, sure, there are some that take advantage of our generosity and only come for the stuff. But, there is a group of people there who don't come for the food (although they like the menu!) and they don't ask for anything. They hang around on the edges of the crowd waiting for us to get done 'working' so that we can visit. They tap us on the shoulder to say hi or to tell us they are moving on and then they wait for us when we say, "Just a sec!" They stand in the freezing cold weather just to chat.

For us, in the beginning, Sundays were a way to live out the Gospel - to serve God. For them, in the beginning, Sundays were a way to get a great meal with 'real' protein. Now, Sundays are a family picnic in the park. They are a respite from our busy weeks and their weeks of a hard life on the streets. They are a welcome break and, I think, what God had in mind when he commissioned the Sabbath. All that matters on Sundays is what goes on there at those moments. Enjoying each other, loving and serving one another, just because that's the way God wants it. And He blesses it and He is the Author of it and I am speechless before Him that He would allow us to be a part of what He is doing.

I love Him and I love our friends in the park!